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Talking about prostate cancer is not easy, especially for men who often choose silence over sharing their experiences. But silence can be dangerous. Ignoring symptoms doesn’t make them go away, and early detection can be life-saving. In this blog, I want to break that silence by sharing my own journey with prostate cancer.
A warning before you read on: I'm going to talk about something most men never speak about—at least not openly. To those who’ve been on this journey and chosen silence, I want to say: I see you, I respect your privacy, and I hope that by sharing my own experience, others will feel encouraged to speak up and—most importantly—get checked early. Ignoring symptoms doesn’t make them go away. And trust me, this gets real if you do.
From the moment I received my diagnosis, my life changed. I was faced with difficult decisions, weighing the risks and benefits of different treatment options. It was a journey filled with raw conversations, emotional support from my family, and the realization that making informed decisions is crucial—not just in health, but in every aspect of life.
I have guided clients through their own journeys with cancer, and today - for better or worse - I have a much more intimate understanding of what they have gone through or are currently experiencing.
It’s 10:00 AM, Monday, March 10. I’m at the specialist’s office with my two eldest kids. My son had flown in from Auckland as a surprise, and they both wanted to be there when I received the results from my prostate biopsy in December 2024. What none of us expected was the raw, open conversation that followed—about my body, my anatomy, urinary flow, and yes, erectile dysfunction (ED). I had no idea how much I needed them there. And how grateful I’d feel having their support because the news wasn’t the best: prostate cancer.
There is some good news. The cancer is low-grade and currently contained within the prostate. The bad news: radiation isn’t recommended. The best option is full removal of the prostate—but it doesn’t need to happen immediately.
Making informed decisions is crucial—not just in health, but in every aspect of life.
Radical Prostatectomy (Prostate Removal). Upside: The cancer is gone, and I can move on with my life. Downside: The risks are very real—some temporary, some possibly permanent. Surgery has side effects, including post-surgical pain and swelling, constipation and flatulance, temporary catheter and drain placement, ED and incontinence. None of these are small things to process.
Active Surveillance. Upside: This option involves keeping the prostate and closely monitoring the cancer. It includes PSA checks every six months, a repeat biopsy in 12 months, bladder scans and flow tests, and daily medication to help urinary function. Side effects of the medication can be managed by taking it at night. Downside: The cancer can progress. If it spreads, the consequences can be life-threatening.
I’m 58. Single. Father of four (two teens, two adults). And there I was, in a specialist's office, asking my adult children what they thought. My head was spinning—ED, incontinence, adult nappies, medical aids just to be intimate again. Honestly? No thank you. But then I asked myself: Am I being selfish choosing surveillance, just because I want to avoid those outcomes? What about my kids? My family? My future? In the end, we chose surveillance—together. My specialist is confident that with close monitoring, staying fit, and managing my health, I may have another 5 years before removal becomes necessary.
In my work, I help people understand facts and make informed financial decisions. But I also ask them how it feels—what the decision means to them. Turns out, cancer decisions aren't so different from financial planning after all.
We can’t prepare for everything, but we can build buffers:
This isn’t just a story about cancer—it’s about owning your life, making informed decisions, and preparing for the unexpected.
I do this all day, every day for my clients. Now it is my turn and thankfully I have been in a position to get good advice myself, and have those buffers in place.
If my story helps even one man get checked, or take control of his health and finances, then it’s worth every word.
Facing a prostate cancer diagnosis is daunting, but it’s also an opportunity to take control of your health and your future. By sharing my story, I hope to encourage others to speak up, get checked, and make informed decisions. Remember, ignoring symptoms won’t make them disappear. Early detection and proactive management can make all the difference.
Life is unpredictable, but we can prepare for its uncertainties. Whether it’s through medical check-ups, financial planning, (the right insurnace!) or simply having open conversations with loved ones, taking these steps can provide peace of mind and security. My journey has taught me the value of being informed and prepared, and I hope it inspires you to do the same.
Look after yourselves Men. Do your due diligence both medically and financially.
To all the men reading this: don’t wait. Know the symptoms, talk to someone you trust, and have a plan. Your health is worth it. And to those who have already reached out and taken action—keep going. Stay proactive, stay healthy, and remember, you’re not alone.
Thank you for reading, and I hope my experience helps even one person take control of their health and finances. Feel free to talk to me if you’ve had a similar experience, or you want to avoid one. If your medical insurance is lacking, it’s time to look at that too. Don’t risk playing dice with the NZ health system. The system has changed, and it may not catch you in time.
Dean.
Hi everyone! My name is Dean, and I am Financial Adviser and coach. I work with people to help them to achieve their financial goals and assist them to make smarter financial decisions. Drop me a line for a chat and to work through your goals. I work with you to become financially fit and together we create a game plan for your financial future. D.
Disclaimer: Dean Blair (FSP87402) is a Financial Adviser with Velocity Financial (FSP95466). No investment decision should be taken based on the information in this blog alone. Please see our disclosure statement on our website.
Always get professional advice
The information shared in this post is meant to be general guide to support you on your journey. When making important decisions about your finances, we encourage you to seek independent financial advice first, tailored to your unique situation. As well as talking with a financial adviser, make sure you talk to your lawyer and accountant too – together they'll help you find the best solution for your specific situation. Our knowledgeable financial advisers are here to help. Check out our website for the details about our financial advisory services in our disclosures:
https://www.velocityfinancial.co.nz/disclosure-statement.